A Mighty Change of Heart

At the age of 15 my heart was changed as I read the Book of Mormon prayerfully for the first time.

Before then I generally complied submissively to what was expected of me as a son of Latter-day Saints. In fact I was zealous and judgemental. I would have been called a goody-goody by some children. And I was called Righteous-Kenighteous by some of my loved ones.

But in that deep part of me nobody ever saw, I often wished I had been born and raised ignorant of the commandments of God. I remember distinctly in early adolescence wishing earnestly that I might have been born a heathen that I might have partied up good and enjoyed sin for a good long time, and then in my later years have heard the sober news, received baptism and forgiveness, and continued on to my glory in the eternal world.

Those feelings and thoughts were obviously misinformed. Righteousness is its own reward, and sin its own punishment.

The year I was 15, I studied The Book of Mormon in a high school Latter-day Saint youth seminary class. The teacher continually insisted we had to pray for a personal knowledge of the truth of our religion as we read The Book of Mormon. I remember praying earnestly all through my reading of the book. And I remember that the day I closed the last page, in my heart I said, "Amen," in response to the prophetic benediction at the end. But at that point I was not conscious of the change that had taken place or was taking place in my heart. Within a few months I noticed written somewhere the phrase, "Conversion: The Divine Miracle". As I pondered that phrase and whatever I had found written with it, I realized what a miracle it was to take a heart and change it mightily so that, where it previously had desired to commit more sin, it now desired to commit no sin, but to do good continually.

I before long came to the conclusion that I had experienced personally a great miracle, and that the miracle itself was the answer to my prayers. I never again rejoiced in any sin of mine, nor wished I had opportunity to sin more. Instead I praised God for every sin from which I was spared, and yearned within to be more holy.